After you're gone
by minekami8
Summary: What if Killua suddenly seperated himself from Gon and decided to live their own life? He had been friends with Gon and accompanied him along their journey, but still.. Were they going to forget about each other?
1. Separation

I know I've posted (too) many fanfics lately but I really want to make such story which doesn't filled with fluff only this time. Eeh..I have to deal with my English nevertheless tehe

There was alluka here but for I haven't read the manga when she appeared (I don't like spoiler) so thinking further I can't use the story with this character. Kalluto's too beautiful to be referred as a boy therefore I mistook him and write him as a "girl" in my sleepiness

Sorry for the late correction

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Chapter 1 : Separation

Another tough day passed by and it was late at night that time. Laying on his bed beside Gon, Killua stared to the ceiling above them, his mind wandered. Maybe it'd be their last day in Greed Island game, since they had collected almost all of the card slots. They just needed the last card, the #0, 'Ruler's blessing' to complete their binder and went back to the real world.

Killua sighed. It was hard yet they could make it together. However, he couldn't feel at ease right now. He took a slight look at Gon's hand and it made him felt desperate. That hand was once awfully severed because of his fight with the bomber boss. Though it had been healed by the miraculous card , Breath of Archangel (could heal every pain and disease), it still left a concern in Killua's mind. He really considered himself weak to not be able to protect Gon, though he knew he had just finished fighting by that time. He blamed all to himself, saying it was his fault and made him stressed. Then he came to a conclusion.

'_I don't deserve to be Gon's friend after all, if this keep happening then I'll be a burden to himself, so.._

_I better stay away from him_'

He knew that decision was unreasonable and he himself couldn't accept it. Yet he thought it was the best choice after all. He was contemplating and finally he made his decision.

"Gon" he spoke in a very low voice.

"What is it Killua?" The black haired boy beside him turned to face him.

"If I go..to somewhere faraway.. what'll you do?" Killua looked down, couldn't meet Gon's eyes.

'_Eh? What have I asked? It's not my business after all, it's his own life matter_' he murmured in the mind.

"Why Killua?" Gon looked so startled as he asked in serious tone "Are you going to go somewhere far for a certain something? Then I'll go with you!"

Killua stared at his friend, his blue eyes showed uncertainty.

"You can't" he said as he threw his sight "beside, you must meet your father, it's your goal, right? And I won't let you tailing me. We have our own life after all" he turned slowly to Gon and smiled wryly "This may be our last time together"

"I can't accept that Killu.." Gon stopped as a hand shoved his back of the head closer to the boy before him. Killua's lips stuck to his, stayed there for a long time, making Gon's brown eyes widened.

Killua released him eventually and said calmly to Gon " it's the end. Don't cry over me, baka, you'll make me uneasy" he stroked slowly the black hair before him. "You must take a rest, you haven't healed completely, right?". Feeling so tired, Gon was unable to keep his eyelids from closing slightly, until Killua's figure faded away and he fell to the total darkness.

xxx

Early in the morning, Killua woke up first and turned to Gon. His friend hadn't wake up yet, he must be so tired yesterday. Got off the bed slowly and stepped thoroughly, attempting not to make any sound (it was easy to him for he was used to this) Killua walked to the table near the window and took a piece of paper and a ballpoint. After writing some message, he put his ballpoint, packed quietly his stuffs to his bag and walked to the door. He saw Gon who was still sleeping calmly as his hand turned the door knob and left.

xxx

Finding no one beside him, Gon woke up entirely from his sleep and found himself in panic. He didn't expect Killua to be serious last night, couldn't be. Searching for trace of Killua's existence everywhere he found nothing, which made him so worried. Gon headed to the window, intending to look through it when he saw a piece of paper put on the table. He took it and quickly realized it was Killua's handwriting. Eyes widened as he hurriedly read it.

Bisky came into their room to remind them that they were going to be late for the quiz (to get the #0 card) when Gon was reading the letter from Killua. He was so shocked and didn't reply when Bisky called him. Seeing Gon in a strange condition, the blond walked towards his pupil and noticed something from his face. Bisky came closer to take a look at the letter and read it too.

'_Gon, and old hag.. I mean Bisky _

_I would have gone as you read this letter. Maybe I'll wander around seeing this world, to find such a goal or reason in my life. Sorry if it's too sudden. Gon, it doesn't mean I don't want to go with you and Bisky too, don't feel guilty because you've hit me many times and trained us so hard. It meant a lot. _

_Gon, you're my best friend ever. I don't feel like finding a better friend than you even until my death. Promise me you'll never forget me. Me too of course. Put this in your mind. Continue to look for your father, no matter how hard it is. Don't go after me, it'll waste your time. I'm glad if we can meet each other soon with our goals accomplished. That's if we can meet each other again for I think it'll be hard._

_Killua_'

Bisky was about to get mad (not because Killua called her old hag until the last time but because this pupil of her disappeared in sudden) when she looked Gon was trembling. His hands shook, dropping the letter on the table.

"Bis..ky.." Gon said without looking to his master, eyes still looking to the letter before him "what should… I do…. Without Killua.."

The girl felt sorry for him but she replied soon "Like he's written. What you're going to do now is focus to find your father. For now we have to go to answer the quiz immediately. Then you can meet your father when your binder's full. Are you agree?"

Gon hung his head low and remained silence for a while before he said "Yes"

xxx

Walking on his way home since he found nowhere to go, Killua wondering what Gon and Bisky were doing that time. They had quiz to get the last card didn't they? They 'd probably off to the location, and because he'd told Gon not to catch him so Gon wouldn't do it right?

He unintentionally recalled moments they'd gone through together. Happiness yet troubles they shared together. Especially when Gon said to him while they were sitting near the bonfire they made in Whale Island

"_I think it's fun to be with you. Are you having fun when we're together_?"

That time he startled and didn't believe in what he heard. He simply replied "_Yeah.. I think._."

"_Then, let's stick together_!" Gon asked him to always be there by him and see the whole world together..

Sigh..

He arrived eventually in front of his house on top of Kukuroo mountain after getting there using public transportation (surprisingly, there wasn't anyone who aware of him, since no one ever seen the faces of Zoldyck family). Before the testament gate to be exact. Zebro, the old gate guardian looked so surprise when he saw him and rushed to get him. "Young master, welcome back. Never thought you'll come here after a long time"

Killua nodded at him "Uh hi Zebro. Yeah long time no see"

"Not feeling well? You look a little tired."he studied his young master and said with worry

'_Tired?_' Killua thought.' _It's not.. like that, since I haven't done anything such as fighting until I get here_'

"Could you pulled the testament gate or should I.."

"It's fine, I'm okay" he shook that thought and walked to the testament gate, placing his hands on that enormous door and pulled it. Strangely, this time only the first door opened, contradicted that he was able to open the third gate the last time he got here.

"Huh?" Killua wondered while looking at his hands

'_Young master must be so tired because of his journey all the way here. However, I'm still in doubt seeing he could only open the first gate_' Zebro wondered but he said something quickly to make his master calm down "It's okay, young master. You're just tired, that's all. Now just hurry head to the mansion for this gate'll close soon and rest as much as you can. Hope you're not getting sick" he waved his hand and smiled in tolerance. Once again Killua nodded to him and walked away as the gate slowly closed behind him.

xxx

"The quiz will now begin" the voice from the loud speaker was resounding through the entire town. All of the players in Greed Island were now sitting before their own binders, ready to answer the upcoming quiz, so were Gon and Bisky.

"Question number one.." the question had been read.

"Hey Killua, what do you think the answer.." Gon turned and realized Killua was no longer beside him as always

"…" he fell silent when Bisky slapped his back hard "Focus Gon! You have to focus!" then she said in a lower voice "he wasn't here anymore so just don't think about him for a while, okay?"

Gon gave Bisky a wry smile "Yes. Thanks Bisky"

"No problem. Now hurry up or you'll miss the question. Come on you know the answer right? You've gone through many trouble to get this card remember?"

"Yeah.. the answer is" the black haired boy directing his attention to his binder and tapped the correct answer.

xxx

"Young master, you're back!" a girl welcomed and greeted Killua

"Canary, it's been a long time" the white haired boy smile a bit to the figure before him and threw a little conversation "How're you doing?"

"I'm doing fine, just like old days young master." She replied "Uuh anyway sorry if I'm being rude but, where's your friend Gon?" the butler asked carefully.

"Many things happened and make me have to separate myself from him" Killua forced a smile "yeah.. suppose like that..now I'll heading to the mansion, if you excuse me Canary"

"Ah uh, as you please, young master" she stepped back and let Killua walked passed her

The Zoldyck looked up to his mansion from afar. It looked so faaar away compared to the last time, making him wondered why was it felt like he'd make it to reach his mansion for a day today while last time he didn't think of something like this. Maybe Zebro was right that he's ill? Nah, couldn't be.

xxx

Standing in front of the castle he'd been called to go to, Gon turned doubtfully to Bisky. Knowing what was in the boy's mind, Bisky smiled and said "Don't worry. You'll have an opportunity to meet your father after all, don't you get excited?"

Gon scratched softly his cheek "Yeah, I do.. but I still.. hesitate"

"What're you hesitating for?" impatient by seeing the attitude of his pupil, Bisky shoved him to the entrance door "now hurry up and deal with it!"

The black haired boy then entered the castle.

He was welcomed by his father's friends, List and Dwun (dunno how long they were there), explaining things about the Greed Island, a little about his father, and what he got after finishing the game. Then Dwun gave him a box of 3 card slots, to use cards in real life and asked Gon to choose 3 cards. After choosing and picked the cards he needed, he thanked them and got out of the castle. Gon with Bisky then went and met Elena, one of Ging's friend who helped them to get out of the game.

"Are you sure these are the three cards you want?" she confirmed

"Yes"

"Then I'll now return your ring. Good work" Elena gave his ring back. After thanking the girl and bidding a farewell, Gon was now in the real world with Bisky.

xxx

A butler opened the door for Killua as he walked in. The mansion was still the same, looking so glorious yet dark, just as the last time he came back there, so was the butler standing before him, Gotoh.

"Good afternoon, young master. It's been a long time. Please come in" he bowed politely.

"Thank you Gotoh. Yeah, you are still competent as always" replied Killua

"I take that as a compliment young master. Thank you very much, I'm so pleased" he smiled and bowed again " May I take your bag?"

"Oh thanks" bag was taken off and gave to the man " Now I'm going to.."

"Kil" an astonished voice came just few meters before the boy. Killua stared to the figure that slowly appeared in front of him and found it was his mother, Kikyo Zoldyck.

"Kil.. ahh my little child has come back!" she said proudly and lifted his long gown a bit in an elegant manner, attempted to not running to approach Killua. She couldn't help herself to not being too protective towards her favorite son after all.

The woman asked him in concern "I'm so glad you've come back. You're fine aren't you?"

"Yeah, totally fine mom" he replied, thinking about his mansion which was just too big yet so silence even a lot of people lived there before he realize something different from usual "Eh, I don't see Kalluto.. usually he always following you (referred to his mom), right?"

"Aah unfortunately Kalluto was joining an organization so I'm afraid he won't be able to meet you for a long time."

'_Hee, so unlikely of him'_, Killua thought. He always thought Kalluto was a "home girl or shrine maiden" (though he was a boy) who liked to stayed at home but apparently it wasn't like that.

"Is the organization related to our family?"

"Seems it's not likely Kil. We don't know either since he mentioned nothing to us" Kikyo replied

"Hmm is that so.."

Killua's mind kept wandering about the same thing instead of wondering about Kalluto. He felt that this mansion was never as quiet as this but thinking again, it was the same as ever. Was it because of he himself who felt a bit... lonely?

'_I'm just an ex-assassin with no goal clinging on Gon after all. Maybe I can be a little help for him and give some advice. But I'll really be a burden to him when it comes to things I can't handle, like Illumi aniki, I guess_' he mumbled in his heart , staring at the wide window beside him. The weather was so fine outside.

'_Maybe it's the best for us after all…but why.. I feel my heart so heavy…._"

-To be continued-

* * *

Wow it's the first time I write "to be continued" #smacked. Yeah, do you think Killua will meet Gon or..? Not telling you #giggle

I switch the side of Gon and Killua too many times but in the next chapter the pace'll be slower. The conflict'll begin then

See you on the next chapter. I don't know when I'll write it but I'll finish it before my holiday ends. Aaah noo

I erased the "Alluka" part I wrote earlier ukh so sorry but I can't force the story though. His past and Killua's was too complicated and if I insist to use him, Killua'll having a hard time choosing between Gon and Him right? This story is about Gon and Killua though

I'll be more serious next time ukh

Feel free to drop review :3


	2. In My World

Before proceed to this chapter, please re-read the chapter 1 because some changes are made there (from the part which Killua met his mother) sorry sorry Q_Q

And next is some intro.

I'll write the intro below in bold so you can skip it if you want (but you better read it #slapped)

**#1 (you have to read this) :**

**Hi I'm minekami and I'm sure you've known my name #kicked (repeat!)**

**Hi I'm minekami and I'm saying "Happy new year 2014" to all of you!**

**Hope we can do better in this year and..**

**Don't forget to check anime which'll be aired this year, I (and my friends) find there're many amazing anime this year *thumbs up* **

**#2 (you don't have to read this actually):**

**I seriously will jump to a cliff nearby or let myself eaten by piranhas. No, I don't want it though but I'll still slap my face in exchange. I'm sorry I still write fanfic in 'inappropriate' english. Grammar, worsen by typo and preposition duh. Still I insist to write them and... after rechecking them later, I want to throw them somewhere faraway so much. There won't be anyone worse than me.. *crying at the corner* **

If you wanna be my beta reader, just PM me, don't be shy~ #kicked

**But I appreciate and thank you who still want to read my stories.. ukh I want to cry, *tissue please***

**#3 hope you enjoy this story!**

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Chapter 2 : In My World

There was no one in the dining room that morning, only a white haired boy sitting silently on his chair which stood tall against his leaning back. It was just another day in Zoldyck mansion where you could only find silence there, though it was considered normal by people who lived there. Killua ate his meal silently and although he didn't give a thought, he still wondered a bit about how he came there eventually and ended up wandering around his very mansion with all of its glory. He wasn't paying attention to what lied inside his mansion though. His mind was all blank. The fact was something in the corner of his mind crawled to get his attention but Killua ignored it. The thought was too deep for him to understand by now, hence he didn't even want to think about it for the time being.

The steps came from someone outside the dining room scattered the time Killua used to contemplate. This someone held a piece of paper in his hand while walking approach to Killua.

"Milluki aniki" Killua said more likely to himself.

"Oh Kil you really have come back…" Milluki yawned, didn't feel interested in his little brother's comeback whatsoever. It didn't affect him though. "You have a mission today" the paper waved before it was handed to Killua's pale hand while the younger brother frowning. It was just his second day after he left Greed Island yet he had already been assigned to an assassinating job.

Though it was called a 'mission' the Zoldyck family took it merely as a 'daily snack' for bloodlust and the need to killing had run through their veins and flesh ever since they were little. It really meant nothing to them.

The third Zoldyck calmly opened the paper given to him. "Ah…" he said "easy as always".

"It's because we're the Zoldyck, Kil, it's obvious" Milluki replied nonchalantly to his brother as he walked around the long dining table to take a seat across Killua. '_Moreover because you may be the best among the Zoldyck__,__ thus makes you feel like that_' he admitted in his heart. On the other hand, Killua was actually didn't want to become assassin and doing assassination anymore but instead of thinking about Gon and himself over and over, he found it'd be better to go on a mission, not to mention it was an easy one. He had to do something to calm himself and put away this irritating thought for the time being.

"What does it say?" Milluki pointed to the paper "I don't ask out of curiousity though" the fat hand then stretched to grab a thigh part of the large roasted turkey served before the owner. Killua stared boringly at his brother. '_If you aren't eager to know why bother to ask me anyway_? _Well, whatever'. _He looked back to the paper and read it nonetheless.

_I would like to ask your help to get rid of someone for me. His identity has been written as below._

Eating slowly his chocolate cake (he always had this as his dessert), Killua read the identity of his target. He wasn't interested therefore he read it fast. From the information, the third Zoldyck knew his target was a very wealthy man. He was a boss of the largest pharmacy factory in the town nearby. Not that Killua wanted to know about this actually. The white haired boy assumed that this man was so weak yet he was guarded by 20 bodyguards around him for 24 hours. Apparently this client of his had a close relationship with this boss. (S)he knew that the man'd have a private meeting around 7 p.m. hence he was just allowed to bring fewer guards than usual.

"Che.. maybe this client is just his wife who wants his wealth? " Killua assumed as he folded the paper.

"How do you know?"

"Just a hunch though. She doesn't seem to hold a grudge or something… anyway I've finished eating" the white haired boy shoved his hands to his pockets and left his chair. "I still get plenty of times.. guess I'll spend my time doing nothing again…"

xxx

"I still can't reach him through the phone" Gon murmured while staring at his phone. The girl he talked to looked sympathetically at him "Can't be helped. We've tried to contact him for 2 days yet we got nothing in reply" she shrugged "he must be turning off his phone"

"Can't be…" the black haired boy flustered.

"We've gone back to the game and decided to wait here for 5 days just in case he'll come back" Bisky reminded him.

At first, Bisky suggested Gon to go to the real world and started seeking for his father. That time, Gon had no thought at all, thus he did as the girl told him to do until he was outside the game. Suddenly he came to realization and said that he'd wait Killua for a little longer. Bisky agreed and they went back to the game.

"It's been the 2nd day already and he didn't even show his nose" she paused. "Listen to me, Gon. Contact him one more time. This'll be the last time and if he doesn't answer you, you aren't allowed to make any more call"

"Why?" the boy protested

"Because it's futile Gon, realize it" Bisky felt so sorry towards her pupil "Is it some kind of proof that he doesn't want to respond you? He thinks it's the best for you. Try to understand your friend's way of thinking"

"I can't" Gon said in a crumbled tone "although he said I'm his best friend, I still find it hard to understand him. He's so close yet so far from me sometimes"

"In that case, then what you have to do is to tolerate his decision and go down the path he set for the two of you. In these 5 days of waiting, if he doesn't come in the end, you must leave Greed Island and forget about him. You must make yourself just thinking about finding your father without Killua".

"Okay but may I text him for I can't call him?"

Bisky nodded "yeah, go ahead, take your time".

Gon was frowning.

'_Killua.._' his mind wandered '_That night, why did you say you're going to go far away? Why did you leave a letter and tell me to seek for my father?_

_Why did you kiss me?_'

The blonde girl was studying Gon as the pupil of hers placed his thumb upon the phone but instead of began texting, he just stared blankly at the screen. It was the first time Bisky saw the helpless emotion inside Gon, despite of his cheerful personality he usually wore every day, making her asked him in concern "Gon...", uncertainty slipped through her low voice "..are you okay?"

Gon startled and turned to Bisky "Wha.. yeah I'm fine! Don't worry about me Bisky" a slight smile was forced only to be seen as a wry smile by Bisky.

"Gon…"

xxx

'_There's someone outside the mansion_'

'_Who's he_?'

Unrecognized voices floating around Killua but he chose to remain silent.

'_He was all beaten up_'

'_Seems he still wants to come here_'

'_He can't_'

'_Let me see Killua!_'

Gon…

He was hit all over , bruises on his skin everywhere, but his swollen left eye was the worst.. Even so, he still wanted to see me?

His hand was about to reach for Gon when a voice stopped him and made him hesitate.

'_You'll someday betray Gon or end up killing him_'

Aniki?!

'_Look at him, he went through all the troubles to meet you, even if he had to face me. You know what risk he bears if he insist to see you, right? _'

The voice faded slightly.

'Killua_, if this keep happening, somewhere down the line you'll leave Gon behind to die_'

What?

'_If you keep making him protecting you, it'll be hard for him_'

Bis…ky?

'_I think you've chosen the best option…._'

.

.

Gasp!

Killua woke up at that time and found he was asleep without him knowing it. He sat up and whined a bit, hand clenching his head.

"A… dream.." he found himself smiled wryly before turning his head to look at the clock. Looked like his thought about Gon recently had haunted him even to his dream. But why? He thought his decision was right. He kept thinking it over and over to ensure himself but why somewhere in the depth of his heart he couldn't feel at ease? Was he wrong after all?

No, he didn't think he was. But the thought about Gon that keep bothering him made him curious to find out why.

_Is this.. what people called '_longing?_'_

…

_Can't be it. __Don't want to think about it now._

"It's already 5 p.m. by now.. time to go to work"

'_I have to focus on my job and put this aside'_

xxx

The third Zoldyck got out of the mansion and went for the town of his assassinating target by public transportation for it'd be faster that way. He arrived there on time, just as he expected. He used Zetsu and sneaked into the building without any difficulties.

It was so easy. Seconds later he was standing in front of the generator of that building, making electricity out of his right hand. He broke the generator's door with his left hand easily since he'd been trained to break steel ever since he was little. Then he touched the wires inside to make a short circuit and…

Blackout.

Panic voices came out and heard everywhere

"Wha… it's blackout!"

"Hurry up! Search for the cause! The important meeting is about to start!"

"The generator must be broken! Someone go check it immediately"

"No way! It's too dark here I can't see.. UAARRGHH!"

From inside the darkness, a severed head fell to the red carpet without someone noticing it.

"Hey, what happen.. AARGHH!" once again a sound of a sharp thing piercing the skin heard in the air, followed by a sickening sound of spilt blood. That thing which was apparently a hand with sharpened nails was withdrawn by its owner. Blood covered his face and clothes yet he didn't feel anything at all. He felt something was off instead. He thought that it might be because the guards were no match for him thus made him outclassed them.

Nah, whatever.

The white haired boy was running while locating and killing the guards one by one. One step, one kill. He even didn't have to use Gyo as no guard there was a nen user, therefore he just using his assassin instinct to do that. He was too fast that no guard even stood a chance to alert the others.

Thanked to the detail information he received from his client, Killua was able to pinpoint the meeting room that outsiders wouldn't have known that the place was exist. The time he opened the door, a strong punch suddenly came and landed on his cheek. Fortunately he was able to cross his arms upon his cheek and covered it with Ken slightly before he was hit. Though the amount of Ken he used wasn't enough because of the suddenness, it managed to protect him from significant damage. He was shifted back by force of the hit. As the Zoldyck was finally able to stop his legs and stood, a man walked approaching him and said with a deep voice

"Oya oya, looks like I find an interesting opponent here.. sadly it was merely a boy" He stood right before Killua so the boy could look at his face. If Killua was asked to give a quick explanation about the man's appearance: he was more or less looked like Uvogin, yes, with all of his muscles but this man had a square face, wearing black sunglasses and formal suits as a proper bodyguard.

The blue eyes glared at him.

The guard looked down at the boy "Listen to me, boy. At first I'm gonna let you go considering you're just a kid. But turns out you killed all of the guards here, I can't take you easily, but you're lucky I still spare your life. Now I'll give you one more chance. You may punch me anywhere you like and if you fail, I'll kill you. Fair enough right?"

"Yeah" Killua smirked "sounds good, I'll take it"

He sharpened his hand and gathered almost all of his nen of his right hand to make electricity. On the other side, the guard strengthened his Kou to wrap his body so he could receive hit from any direction. The man smiled with confidence.

"Come!"

Killua boosted his legs against the ground and jumped towards the man while stretching his right arm. The guard suddenly centralized all of his nen and changed it to Ken to cover the area he expected to be attacked there.

Stab

A loud and sickening sound of the pierced flesh was heard again. What heard next was a step when Killua's shoes touched the floor, a large thud sound from the dead body and hands shoved to pockets. Then silence. Killua walked without even turning back.

'_I've already predicted that you'd guard the part where my right hand would attack there by seeing the amount of aura and electricity on it. Without realizing it was a decoy, you were so full of yourself until I stabbed your chest with my left hand_'Killua muttered and took out a thing covered by a cloth from his pocket. The thing was beating and blood vaguely seen on the cloth.

"Gross" . He threw away that thing and smiled sadistically "Now let's get down to the business" he licked his lips and found a little taste of blood on his tongue, making him spat to the ground. Blood was never tasted good. Then he sharpened his nails once again to finish off the last witness, the Boss.

That was too easy.

xxx

It was raining cats and dogs outside the building that night when a certain boy walked nonchalantly to leave the building. Although he wore a raincoat, the rain still soaked his body , especially his uncovered head. Letting the rain washed away the blood from his white hair, Killua kept walking as he stared at the ground. Then he raised his hands and looked at his palms, remained silent as he saw the blood which covering it before was slowly wiped away by the pouring rain.

At that time, he stopped his step, staring at his hands then at the sky, letting the rain fell to his pale skin. What he was thinking wasn't how many corpse he left there lying lifelessly in that building but just a certain simple boy. A cheerful and enthusiastic boy who used to be his friend. He was the only one who wasn't become scared or shocked when he know about Killua being an assassin before taking the Hunter exam. He was different from the other, by the time Killua took Johness' heart, he heard Gon explaining about the boy's past to Kurapika, Leorio, and Tonpa, which made the three of them getting scared somehow by this fact. But the white haired notice, until that time his friend hadn't ever shown a sign to show if he was scared of his friend.

In other word, Gon fully understood and accepted him no matter who he was.

It was like his friend thought '_Because Killua is Killua right?_' and '_I'm fine with whoever my friends are. I'm glad because I'm able to make friends with them_, and that's more than enough for me'

"Gon…." Killua whispered in his heart.

But he was aware his friend was no longer by his side that time, his friend wasn't there to laugh with him, and to see him as a heartless assassin that time, standing still in the rain, alone.

That thought made Killua sick. He felt something lost within him.

He realized he couldn't run from this thought any longer.

Somewhere inside his heart he admitted that he wanted to see Gon so badly that time.

- to be continued -

* * *

Aah ugh the separation is too much.. Do you think it was the right decision to leave Gon for Killua was afraid he'd become a burden or a hindrance to Gon?

Next : Killua hadn't made a move at all. Was he really serious to separate himself from Gon so Gon could focus on looking for his father's whereabout without any disturbance? Or would some more contemplation change his decision and go after his best friend?

See you on next chapter and don't forget to review 0w0/


	3. Out of My Mansion

Don't have some words to say here but man, my school life will begin in 2 days from now Q_Q and it'll become a great hindrance to this fanfic #smacked

Whatever—

Before that.. oh my god, I find the 'next chapter review' in the end of chapter 106 (anime)by Gon and Killua is very cute. So-someone please stop my nose bleeding hughh just check it

Well then let's continue!

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Chapter 3 : Out of My Mansion

It had been 4 days from the day he separated from Gon. And it was the fourth day from where he kept thinking about his separation from his friend. At first it didn't bother him too much when he left his letter on the table in their room until he arrived there and lived his life together with the other Zoldyck family members like before he met Gon. He even did an assassinating job once. But that time he felt really miserable, screwed, and lost. Killua thought this was his best choice, he was so sure yet he felt guilty at the same time.

What to do… never once he couldn't think of what he better do before. It was so complicated and he never faced such a problem like this. It was really hard for him even to understand.

He kept contemplating when a loud knock on the door dispersed his mind. Before he could reply, the door had been opened already by the fat man standing there, holding a large bag of potato chips. Mouth kept munching as Milluki spoke "Dad calls you Kil. Come to think of it, he's the one who haven't speak to you since your arrival. I never get any idea of what he does in that dark room of his…"

'_Same goes with you, staring at the computer screen everyday and doing nothing in your room_' thought Killua in his mind but he didn't bother telling this to his brother as there'd be nothing but trouble. As he walked pass Milluki, the older Zoldyck asked him "By the way Kil, I just remember can't rebuild the 'Greed Island' save data program to make the program of the game one. The coding's far beyond my level, the programmers must be a pro team" he admitted it yet felt irritated as he said nonetheless. This brother of his was still remembered it after all.

"Oh.. it's okay aniki. I don't need it anymore" a pale hand waved in the air. He almost completed the game with Gon after all. "You can have it. Oh, and if you sell it in auction, you can get so much money for it's soo rare and sooo expensive you know". His thought when he and Gon searched for this game and how they looked for a way to get it fleeting and disappeared in a second.

"Ohh you're so kind Kil, good boy!" Milluki's face lit up as he patted his brother's head. "Now, I should open many auction sites and make a good offer. And for the money.. how should I spend it?" the older Zoldyck murmured as he walked away before turned again to his brother "Hey, don't forget you have to meet Dad Kil". Killua watched him went away until his figure lost in the darkness of the corridor.

xxx

"Did you call me Father?" Killua asked politely as he entered Silva Zoldyck's room

"Yes my son, come here" The head of Zoldyck family gestured at Killua to come closer. The white haired boy sat beside him, waiting for him to speak for a while "So you've come back. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine Father" Killua answered formally.

"Good job on your mission two days ago. It was flawless as usual" Silva praised him and smiled proudly "You've done well"

"Thank you" Killua smiled happily at his father while admiring the head of the Zoldyck inside his heart.

'_You're the one who is flawless, Father. You've always done your job far more perfectly than me. Even so, you still want to give compliment to me'_

"By the way, may I know what brought you back here after all?"

This question, which had bothered Killua's mind for the last four days, was finally brought to the surface.

"Well.. a lot of happened that made me think I'd better go back to this mansion Father" he sighed softly so his father wouldn't hear it.

"Ah I see" His father nodded in tolerance "And you didn't break our promise right? To not betray your friend?" Killua was hesitate before he responded "No, I didn't" in his opinion though.

"Good. You've done what you think the best for your friend right?"

"Yes, I have"

'_I've been mulled over my decision to leave Gon by himself and not to be a burden to him. I think it's the best_'

"Okay, you can leave now" a big palm patted Killua's head gently . "There isn't any assassination work recently so you can rest for now" Silva said as his son walked to the door "and whenever you feel need to go after your friend or look for an adventure you can leave this mansion as you like"

The third Zoldyck turned to his father and widened his eyes moreover because he didn't believe his father could somehow see through his mind "Is that okay?"

Silva nodded "Of course. You've promised to **never** betray your friend right?"

Blue eyes shone in realization without the owner being aware of it "Thank you.. Father"

"Anytime"

Killua's pale hand turned the door knob and opened it before he walked out of the room.

xxx

The night had fallen as a pair of ocean-blue eyes stared at the moon shone above the sky. It was so huge and bright, emitting pale white ray to light everything around it. However even Killua stared for a long time at it, his mind didn't think a single thing about the beauty of the moon outside the window nevertheless. He found himself kept wondering about their separation 4 days ago which left his heart blank.

'_Why on earth I keep thinking about this? _' he mumbled and scratching his head of irritation '_I've made my decision, that should be enough right?_'. He stopped, let out a deep breath and said in a low voice 'W_hat should I do?_'

It was so painful and sickening.. to keep wondering over the same thing for 4 days while doing nothing particular.

Without any idea, Killua reached his phone from his pocket and stared at it. He had turned it off until now because he knew Gon would try to call him after he left and it could shake his determination to not go back to get his friend. Curiosity slipped through his mind and he turned on his phone, just intending to check it. To his surprise, a vibration came from his phone (it was in silent mode) as if it wanted to answer his confusion back then. A lot of missed calls, a message and a voice message.

Thought he didn't need to open the missed call log ( he was so sure they were from Gon), Killua opened the message first and he startled as he saw the name of the sender before the text (although he'd known it too)

_Sender : Gon_

_Killua, I'm so sorry I was too selfish that night. I finally realize that I've caused so much trouble for you, yet I am not aware of it at all. Having you by my side is always more than enough, but I know you must have your own reason to part ways with me. You have your own goal, same as me who keep seeking for my father. I still have a lot of talks I want to share with you but I think I better forget about it for it'll bother you. I'm so glad I've ever made friend with someone like you. I won't forget you too until my death. I finally admit it'll be difficult for us to meet each other again indeed and it makes me afraid somehow. But still, I'd like to meet you again no matter what, Killua._

Killua stopped and stared at the screen for a long time. He had been longing to see this very friend of his but he was supposed to stay away from Gon at the same time.

'_I can't, Gon_' he hung his head low '_This is.. the best for us_"

He was about to close the message from his friend when his eyes directed to the additional text below it

_Ps : Bisky said I'd better stop calling you so I sent a message instead. She borrowed my phone and told me to keep far from her for she wanted to talk to you in private. Therefore she left you a voice message, be sure to open it, okay?_

That reminded Killua that he still had a voice message and opened it when a loud and shrill voice made him shoved his phone from his ear.

"You little….! Still consider me as an 'old hag' ? You better remember that I'll settle this with you"

Killua was about to hang up the phone (because he was shocked) when she calmed down unexpectedly and her voice became authoritative.

"Killua, listen up. I do think your decision's right until I see Gon's drastic change. It's bad. I've never thought he can be this emotionless. He looks like he has no willpower, aim, or whatsoever, but I think I can calm him down a bit and return him to realization. However this doesn't change the fact that he has somehow lost a part of his life which makes a large hole in his heart. Gon attempts to conceal his emotion from me but he can never deceive me. Like I said, I know if someone is lying, just like now. Not to mention he's poor at lying."

Killua frowned and clenched his phone as he thought how his friend felt depressed at that time

"He needs you"

Bisky paused for a second

"However it's just a temporary thought. He tries to adapt by now, accustoming himself to face the reality where you aren't there with him so he can change anytime. What I'm trying to say here is he can move on and will be fine without you eventually, nevertheless that doesn't mean he forget you.

Listen carefully. This's your last chance, think of this thoughtfully. You have 4 days from the time I leave this voice message to you, if you change your mind and want to see us. We're waiting you inside Greed Island near the entrance tower. By the fifth day, if you don't come, Gon and I will get out of the game and we assume you don't make any move to meet us.

You have two options. You can either go after him and stay by himself no matter what'll happen ahead or you can withdraw yourself from him until he finds his father. Do not make any call to him or you'll make him hesitate. This's what you're going to do. Move if you want to get him or stay still if you don't.

I'll end our conversation here and good luck"

A beep ended the message and with it Killua widened his eyes there for a long time. An insane yet strong reflection struck him and scattered all of his contemplations before.

'_Gon_' a realization slightly came to his mind '_You're still waiting for me although being with me will cause you troubles_

_Is it okay… for someone like me to stand beside you_?

_Until this day I seem to think about my decision again and again, like me regretting it._

_And if that's right, that I actually regret my decision to leave you, then.._

_I have to go and get you by my side, thus I'll never regret nothing at all.'_

Killua frowned as he remembered something

'_Can I still make it? It's my fault to not check my phone in the first place. Now I only have 1 day left to get inside the game.. Battera san's house is rather far and there's no public transportation at this time. But…"_

He tightened his fist.

'_I have to meet Gon. No matter what will happen to me. I'll run and I'll make it_'

His gaze sharpened as he once again looked to the phone before him.

xxx

That settled it. Killua realized the best thing he could do now was actually to keep accompany Gon and support him until he find Ging. Wasn't it become his goal recently? How come he could forget about that goal only to be replaced by his fear for causing a fuse for Gon?

He was Gon's friend after all, and that meant, whatever happened, he had to be there by his friend's side to protect Gon.

He had made a new decision and unlike his last one he was so sure of this. This had to be the one he should do from the very start.

That night he packed his belongings and walked outside his room. He had to sneak out of the mansion in silence in order not to wake his mother up (she'd definitely do anything to stop him from going out again) but it wasn't necessary anymore. He walked carefully along the dark and enormous corridor, studying it walls which stood quietly in pitch black only lit by the faint light came from the torch hung to it.

Finally he reached the mansion's entrance door when a voice called him from behind

"Pardon me, but where are you going to at the time like this, Young Master?"

Turning back, Killua found his very servant Gotoh, standing firmly as he spoke

"I'm going to go after my friend, Gotoh" he replied in a low voice but looked so convinced.

The loyal butler took a deep look at his master and adjusted his glasses "I understand. Please be careful on your way young master. I hope you will be alright"

"Hehe" the white haired boy grinned a little "Thank you Gotoh. Don't worrying over me too much. I'll be fine. Convey my regards to Canary okay?"

"I understand" Gotoh walked to the door to open it for Killua "Now, farewell, Young master"

Killua nodded and stepped forward.

He ran across the forest that connected the testament gate with the Zoldyck mansion. It was totally dark there. His heart beating so fast in excitement despite the last time he came to his mansion. Couldn't hold back, he was so ache to meet Gon as soon as he could, making him ran faster and faster. In no time Killua had stood before the testament gate and pulled it outside. An incredible noise heard caused by him opening it made Zebro awake and ran to see the testament gate. Before him was his master with his hands shoved to his pocket, walking calmly through the testament gate which was opened to the 4th gate with contented smile on his lips.

The third Zoldyck waved as he walked pass the gate guardian "I'm off to see my friend Zebro. Until then"

Behind him Zebro bowed in respect "Take care of yourself young master"

"I will" he looked ahead and continued to run.

Killua was so confident of himself when a step followed by a silhouette came before him and stopped him from running, made the white haired boy jumped back and stood in a guarding stance in anticipation. He glared at the tall figure who walked approach him.

'Of all people! Why do it have to be him?!" His mind shouted. As the man came closer to him, Killua attempted to not step back despite of the large amount of pressuring aura directed to him that time.

The man kept walking until he stood right in front of Killua eventually, letting the white haired boy saw his face clearly.

"Long time no see, Kil"

Illumi Zoldyck said as he opened his usual emotionless eyes to look at his brother.

-to be continued-

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I've seen the testament gate being opened many times but never seen it opened from the inside in order to someone get out of the Zoldyck territory (maybe there is no one who can get out of that mansion alive in fact?) so for this time I think the mechanical of how this gate works is the same whether you wanna go in or out

My english's getting worse caused by me taking a peek at my brother's laptop (which is playing Sword Art Online at this time).. oh my..

Killua! You're hesitating too long! And everyone, make sure you check your phone regularly or you'll miss something important like this boy.. and me..

Well next time:

Ghaah Illumi was getting in Killua's way! What to do? He'd been contemplating and decided to go after Gon after all the troubles in the end but now standing before him was the man who could stop him easily!

See you in the next chapter and don't forget to review :3


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